No Respect-Quick Rant/Post

27 Jul

Some of us love rap music. A lot of us *ucks wit Killa and now Vado, too. But how many women are fans of “men” who portray women, prodominetly ethnic women, the way they do.
(watch how stupid the chick with the curly hair in the begining looks)

(I can only find vids that are off but you get it)
I already know many women/teens/girls look at Cam and other rappers like you love them. “He’s soooo cute omg I love him” then slap his ugly face on your wall, ringtone on the cell, background on the myspace.
But you ain’t even hear what he says. (and if you do and have no problem with what he sayin then got damn, i guess to each it’s own) In this song right here, there’s a part when he says, she said she just got fired so he told her open his pants and go job hunting” LMAO! I can’t help but laugh cus females go BANANAS for *iggas like him.

But that’s NOTHIN though. I love when he says “NOW GET ON YA KNEES, GIMME THAT MARVELOUS AND IT WAS MARVELOUS, LONG NECK, OSTRIDGES, DICK IN HER ESOPHAGUS, HELD MY BALLS HOSTAGES” HOW YOU LIKE THAT LADIES?! Chicks have no problem with it. I’m talking to his fans though. I know many females from the ages 15 and up who love rappers that talk about females so horribly and promote treating any race of women like dogs. OF COURSE THEY’RE FREAKS. But, some of them ain’t even hoes. These rappers are only teaching young men how to use women, how to disrespect, and keep the women below them…..and you *ucks with them HARD

We know we said to each it’s own, but if you a fan of this man, or any other “hood” *iggas, and then walk around tellin average joes that they need to respect you. THEN YOU A MESS!!! and………we’d love to help you and not down-grade you = X (holds breathe) na for real, we don’t want to judge. We know we all ain’t perfect right.

Broken Heart?

26 Jul


So this might not be a post about a hole lot of game, But we do have to be real. We all fall in love. And sometimes that love…….ends. Some of our men leave us even if we do stay on top of our *hit. So, this is a post about dealing with a broken heart.

When your stuck in a heart-break, you should try to stay close to your best resources. And that’s your friends. Your true friends will be there for you and try to lift you high. They’ll do the best the can with you and will be real. But, do know all people have emotions, and if you have a friend who super optimistic or someone super looks-on-the-down-side, then they can push your mind to thinking a way you need not to be thinking. Use your friends to get away. Do new things and try to see some new places. We know it’s hard but please do get dragged outside since it won’t hurt, it might just only help you.

Many females will spend time alone forever asking why? why? why? But it’s something better off not doing. Crying and grieving is fine because you need to “mourn” but you can’t stay cooped up in the crib trying to off yourself for some *igga. Over-analyzing will only waste your time, cus if there was something you could’ve done different to save your relationship, it’s not there’s a time-machine to take you back so you can do just that. Also, a break-up IS NOT the worst thing that can ever happen to you so please do pick your head-up and dry your eyes.

A break-up will show you a lot about loving yourself. We all must remember the first key to succeeding in almost anything, and that’s loving yourself first and foremost. When your in this messy/simple break-up, make sure you take care of yourself as best as you can. We know your a hurricane ready to cry, scream, and even smile and it might be a little hard to control that. So please, take care of yourself as good as you can because you do not want to fall off. You want to show-off that yes you do have emotions but you good money and you can get-up and deal and go. = )

Be strong ladies. Love sucks. It’s something people can’t teach about. It has to only happen. Good luck with the pain your going through.

All Day Discounts

23 Jul

Can you have a discount on everything you buy? Even when it’s not on sale? Of course you can. Have a little spunk, and a little attitude and get a discount on almost anything.

You ever see or had to deal with, those chattery salespeople at the mall who want you to try everything? Ever study how they end up actually selling something? (and it’s always something stupid that you don’t need) Well, you can use almost the same strategies as a consumer.

First, know a few tips about shopping:
1.) Go on the days when it’s less crowded. Friday and Saturday are out the question. A good time to go is when you’re on lunch break, although you’ll know what days your local shopping-land is free of tacky pre-teens and obnoxious moms.
2.) Be on budget. We don’t care if you really are rich, the less money you bring, the more it will pressure you to bargain. And you’ll have more money for later on in life
3.) Bring the kids. (sorry if you disagree of if this might be stressful) But when salespeople/employees see children, some feel sympathetic or think your kid is “sooo adorable” (notice I said, SOME). They’ll either go up to the child and offer something free, or offer a discount right of the bat. If not, you can always bring up your children during conversation. Tell the salesperson you’re having a hard time in some way. But DO NOT make it seem like a cry for help. No one has time for a sob story while at work and it will make it seem as if your pushing for that discount.
4.) LOOK like you need a discount. Lol, don’t look poor now but please do not go shopping looking like you don’t deserve one. By appearance and swag, show them you are a hard working person who does not have it all and could use a little help. Have style, and no, name brand doesn’t hurt. Just make sure you show your deservant of a discount.
5.) Make time to shop. Try not to do any sudden shopping since it won’t give you anytime to jones. schedule a day where you’ll have more than enough time to make your purchases.
and 5.) Know what you are buying. We don’t mean just know that you need a new blender, but that you know the company that makes the blender, how much they usually sell for and so on.

Now that you know those tips, onto being a cheap consumer (in a good way) ; ) A good thing to keep in mind is that you can do a lot with just a little humor and respect. Some men are able to go to a woman’s register (or a humorous man) and ask for a “handsome discount”. So why not ask a man for a pretty one? Lol. It’s all game. Talk to the employee about something. (That’s if the line isn’t too long) And chop it up if you want. You can chat about the product, their style, what’s been going on in the world. (But not the weather) Brighten-up the worker’s day since heir job might seem a little sucky. Make them smile and give compliments. Since they’re now in a good mood, you have a better chance at succeeding.

Talk to your sales assistant for a while. Not too short and not too long. Make friends with him/her and show them your interest in the store. Make connections with them. A lot of stores have advertise products at the register or have bowls/boxes/shelves with smaller items (like lip-gloss, bracelets, books, etc) Say it’s a cool ring. Pick it-up, look at it, and tell the cashier how nice it is. Maybe they like it, too. Ask how much it is. She says “$5 each” After, with enthusiasm say “Can i get two for five?” Hopefully she says sure. Or makes a deal like two for $6 or $7…….
Get the employee comfortable then bargain and deal. This should be easy, but if you’re not confident and have a sucky personality, it won’t be all that great. Never know, maybe next time you come-in, you’ll be recognized/remembered and the employee will give you a little extra every time you buy.

When it comes to knowing the product, say a home appliance, talk to the worker one-on-one.
Ask someone for help with finding exactly what you need. The employee might suggest to you why you should buy it, or maybe why you shouldn’t. Either way, know “why” all together and be able to agree, disagree and give your reasons to why you do. The more you converse and even get to know each other, the more you have a better chance at getting a discount. Even a better chance at getting the sale offered.

Remember, the employee’s job is to sell. Don’t let them fool you better than you game them. That will only lead-up to you buying more than you expected at regular or a higher price. Find a balance. Also, two tactics of sale’s people is asking a thousand questions to see what you need and suggesting so hard that your “no” becomes a “yes”. Why don’t you use that on them?

When it comes to game, it’s natural to us sisterhood. We are females, so the eye is naturally attracted. When at our prettiest, we get the upper hand. Don’t get us wrong, there has been days when some of us only carry a kind attitude and have gotten exceptional service but when you look and feel good, the day will go good. Dress nice (remember the tip to look like you could you use a discount since you deserve one) Don’t dress over the top but grab the right amount of attention from people, girl or boy. (I have purple and black hair and trust, that’s a whole lot of attention it’s self) Be polite and have swag.

Remember. “A closed mouth doesn’t get fed”

Eating Disorders in Women

22 Jul

We rarely hear about ethnic people with eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. In fact, we’re usually told, too many ethnic people are over weight or “obese”. But eating disorders are very much present in the ethnic community as it in european.

What is an Eating Disorder? Where did it come from? And how many are there?
An eating disorder is any variation of disorder characterized by severe disturbances in eating habits. It’s history stems from 1684 Europe, when Anorexia Nervosa was described for the first time. But not until 1870 did it become identified with it’s own diagnosis. By the end of the 20th century, the general public had gained knowledge of the disease and it wasn’t until the beginning of the 1970’s, that American media began to write about Anorexia Nervosa. During this time, a study based on clinical research, discovered that Anorexia Nervosa is a disease related to the culture we live in. (So it is most common in the western world). Now, in the 2 thousands, anorexia, bulimia, and many other diseases, have become glamorized in a sense, by American media.
Nicol
There are many types of Eating Disorders:
1.) Anorexia Nervosa – Greek for “lack of appetite”, Anorexia is characterized by low body weight and a distorted body image. It is an obsessive fear of gaining weight. Anorexics often control their body weight by starving and purging.
2.) Bulimia Nervosa – People with bulimia eat a lot of food in a short amount of time, or in one sitting, which is called binging. They may fear gaining weight after a binge, which can cause feelings of shame and guilt. So, they’ll try to “undo” the binge by throwing it up. (Purging)
3.) Binge Eating – Is characterized by periods of uncontrolled, impulsive, or continuous eating beyond the point of a comfortably full. While there is no purging, there may be random fasts or repetitive diets and feelings of shame or self-hatred after a binge.
4.) Anorexia Athletica – Fancy for “obligatory exercise” and “exercise addiction.” People with anorexia athletica no longer enjoy exercising, but feel obligated to do so. They can experience a sense of guilt and anxiety when missed a workout and not even sickness or injury can stop them from satisfying their need for exercise. Also, they’ll exercise beyond the requirements for good health and define self-worth within terms of performance.
5.) Over Exercise – Sometimes refered as an “activity disorder” is not the same as Anorexia Athletica. People who O.E., schedule their life around exercise. They’d rather exercise than spend time with friends or family, go to social events, and may even miss work and important appointments. They can also isolate themselves.
6.) Over Eating – self-explanatory. It’s excessive consumption of food or binge eating, often consuming thousands of calories at a time. People with Compulsive Over eating have an “addiction” to food and will often use food as a way to hide from their emotions. It fills a void they feel inside, and helps them to cope with daily stresses and problems in their lives. Some reasons why they O.E. are for emotional comfort, not paying attention while they eat, and eating too fast.
7.) Night Eating – Is characterized by a lack of appetite in the morning and overeating at night with agitation and insomnia. People with NES usually eat half their daily caloric intake after 8 p.m. As many as 6 millions American are affected by this disorder, and 33% of those who are morbidly obese, suffer from this syndrome. (NES)
8.) Orthorexia – There’s some drama regarding orthorexia as a disease, since many view simply as a health phenomena. But, Orthorexia refers to a fixation on eating proper food. People with this problem think they’re eating healthy by only eating specific foods. Resulting in a very restricted diet open to only certain nutrients. The term modifies “anorexia” since “ortho,” means straight, correct and true.
and 9.) EDNOS – Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified

Those are a lot, especially knowing there’s more? But how does an eating disorder even start?
Eating disorders in women begin many times when they are young or as teens (children are innocent, so image just like racism is programmed by others). Being pressured by people/media to be or look perfect. And by friends and family members who bring them down about how they look. But remember, there are plenty of adults who are diagnosed with E.D.’s in their adult age due to changes in their lives, etc. Some do it by choice. And at times, the reasons behind the cause of their eating disorder, might be out of the ordinary.
(This video will show you a few women with E.D’s and one has diabetes. Check that out and how she deals with her E.D.)

We know that anorexia and bulimia are the most common, but orthorexia is on a rise.

When it comes to women of color, it’s a 50/50 shot. Some would actually prefer to have thicker frames (which many naturally have) due to the high exposure of thicker women in urban media. Don’t get it wrong, we know of plenty of white women who feel this way too.

Some women go the extra mile, and get plastic surgery

But depending on who is exposed to what, it will differ.

In the real-world, as ethnic women compete more in the professional job market, they face the pressure of trying to succeed. At times, they can be faced with discrimination, as well as society’s image of the successful “smart, beautiful and thin” career woman. Within that, their discrimination can contribute to their low self-worth and desire to be loved and accepted. Thus, bringing about the eating disorder.

Also, “Holly-weird” and White media, obtain many gorgeous and smart ehtnic stars. But of course what do they all have in common? Super-skinny-NESS!

Actress Zoe Saldana

New Runway Model Chanel Iman

Model Jessica White

All these women are glamorized by white media. Both models have straight/permed/weaves. You know, it’s the pressure of image. It fair to say a majority of women who want to be skinny, want to do so because it’s glamourous, not because it’s healthy. Black models are token on the runway scene when they are super-thin, tall, and with a few white features.

WE MUST LOVE OURSELVES AND SCREW WHAT MEDIA PORTRAY AS TRUE BEAUTY AND ACCEPTANCE. WE CAN’T ALL LOOK THE SAME. WHERE THE HELL IS THE VARIETY IN THAT? IT’S FRYING YOUR BRAIN. IF THE MODELING AGENCY DON’T WANT YOU BECAUSE YOU WEIGH 135 POUNDS AND YOUR 5 FOOT 7 INCHES THEN YOU DON’T NEED THEM. WE NEED OUR ETHNIC WOMEN TO SHOW OFF THEIR CURVES, LONG LEGS, SMALL FRAMES, WHAT-EVER WE ALL HAVE SO WE CAN PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT WE ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY WE ARE. HAS ANYONE NOTICED HOW MUCH ATTENTION JENNIFER HUDSON HAS BEEN GETTING? HOLLYWOOD ONLY ACCEPTS THE SKINNIES. TONI, HALLE, WHITNEY.

Here is an audio of an interview with an ethnic women with an E.D.

If you want to lose weight to get healthy, do just that. When it comes to fitness, the numbers don’t matter. Women with 30% or more body fat are considered obese, which makes no sense because we can have lean muscle, a healthy heart and fat on our hips and thighs and still be perfectly healthy. In order to get fit and lose weight you must ELIMINATE the ideas of choosing an eating disorder. Purging will rot your teeth due to the acid in our stomach linings and starving will only make you hungrier, so when you eat, all the calories from that will be stored so it can hold on to any nutrients your body needs. Many trainers I know, (and even your own body will tell you) whenever you are hungry, eat. Even if it means 6 times a day. Just eat right. Don’t eat 6 meals of burger king, feel me? Your own body will tell you what is comfortable with it. If it’s not hungry then don’t eat, if it’s starving, eat girl. Eating keeps your metabolism up, your blood flowing right since it has nutrients, your organs working in sync and your brain functioning on-line. You’ll grow longer hair and nails, and your skin will glow. Don’t let media, family, friends, etc. bring you down and/or encourage you to do ridiculous things just to lose weight. If your trying to gain weight, do the same. Eat right, but just add more healthy calories to your diet like dairy products and proteins.

Another problem is, is that using E.D.’s to lose weight is being based on from one young girl to the next, by each other.
This is a “Thinspiration” video. Thinspo’s (as they say) are motivations, and example of how you want and should look. It pushes young girls to get super skinny. (The black one is higher up in the post)
Pro-Ana (pro anorexia) Thinspiration. A.K.A Stupid-*hit

They also have pro-anorexia websites too. THAT I WILL NOT POST

WordPress Shoutout.

21 Jul

A while after writing my last post “Un-defeated. Never lose y……” I got a comment from what appears to be a male marriage coach. Here’s a little bit of his “About”:

“I can help you to stop fighting with your spouse and peacefully resolve your differences.

I can help you with your sexual relationship with your spouse with more and better sex.

I am a marriage, relationship and sexual coach. I have a BA degree with a double major in Behavioral Science and Bible. I also went to graduate school for Clinical Psychology. I attended Nursing School as well. I am one of but a handful of clinicians who treat clients holistically, dealing wtih all 3 aspects of our being; mind, body and spirit. You don’t have to be in my town because I deal with clients on the phone or on Yahoo IM on camera…..”

and so on. He has a lot to offer. His blog seems refreshing, and we like him. So if you need some new and different topics, or are need help with your relationship, please do check out his blog. heres the link >>> http://marriagecoach1.wordpress.com/

Un-Defeated. Never lose your man to another woman

21 Jul


Losing your man to another woman, can make many woman feel sick. Jealous, depressed, angry, defeated, and always wondering why? It hurts, especially when your in love. This is why you need to stay on top of your game and keep him from looking the other way.
Many women have sneaky, devious ways that can pull your man in though. And those ways can be frustrating since they use evil tactics (like hack into your internet pages, make fake messages, make-up rumors, etc.). Oh, and the “smart” do it while you and your man are down.
Sometimes, it’s too late to even notice what has been going down. And also, sometimes there’s nothing you can ever do but let him go. In that case, don’t let it happen again

There are simple ways to have your man in love with you, and only you, from here and now on.
1.) Keep your body right: Just as shown in the Comfy Love post. Like we said, he might say he love the way he is, but he might drop dead for how you can really be.
2.) Keep on top with your looks: Highlight your best features, dress to impress and stay classy. You don’t need expensive clothes, just use variety.
3.) Keep a balanced attitude: Stop it you control-freak. Have your attitude to please him, and watch ya limits. When he’s mad, try not to be mad too.
4.) Space: How can ya breathe if your always in each others face? He has friends, and you need yours. Being clingy will only push him away. Show him attention, but play hard to get.
5.) Sex: Especially oral. You need to give ya man some when it’s needed. (Unless you have an agreement to wait for marriage or something of that nature.) But don’t toss it to him every-single-time he wants it. And if he gets you mad, don’t you let him hit. Men don’t like to chase, but you need to show him that “Veronica” is only for the deserved. Surprise him and always try new things.
6.) Be his best friends:When he talks, you listen. That’s it. Try to understand as best as you can. & make him laugh
7.) Keep a lil suin: Don’t spill all the beans. A little mystery is alright. It keeps it new & some-what challenging
and 8.) Kiss the Cook: If you can’t cook now, we suggest you start to learn. A man loves a woman who can cook just like his mama, or even better. When your man is satisfied, the day will be good.

Heres the catch though. Your going to need four things as well. Confidence, Ambition, Love for him, and LOVE FOR YOU. ; ) lol not too bad of a catch huh. Those seem like a lot of things, but truthfully, those are some things that make a balanced woman. In this day in age, a lot of us weren’t taught that. Good Luck.

Comfy Love-Fitness/Quick Post

21 Jul

Summer is in fact here, and although were deep in 2 months, doesn’t mean it’s too late to get fit.

If your man is telling you “Baby, I love you the way you are.” He’s frontin. He loves you, but we know that pouch ain’t cuttin it when it comes to missionary. And that lingerie for his birthday? Did he ask for a stuffed sausage? Lol! sounds a little harsh but we have to give it to you in that sense because many women are getting a little toooooo lazy in that comfy love. He does love you, of course, but many women got it goin on. and Men have no problem with their average women, but they do wish you had an Amber Rose body. So, LET’S GET FIT!

LET’S STOP EATING THIS AMERIKKKAN JUNK, HIGH FRUCTOSE, CORN STARCH, ETC. FROZEN FOOD AND MICKEY D’S AND PURIFY OUR BODIES LADIES.

I’m not going to sit here and post all these work-outs because there are too many for all the lazies out there and I don’t think it’s fair for our fit chicks to sit there and look at techniques they ALREADY know. SO what I will do is, post a few vids of inspiration to motivate you to get right. Good Luck and If anyone chooses to get fit, I’d love to show you off on our fitness section! So please email-us with your info, pics, vids, progress!!! MOTIVATION!!!
We love this woman’s progress:
Heres her website! http://www.kiannaluv.com/